This Fall, Make Falling In Love With Yourself a PrioritySep 29, 2021
Yup, screw all those outside relationships for a moment (or don’t screw ‘em, as it were… we’re focusing on YOU right now) and think about the last time you treated YOURSELF with the same care and love as you devote to others…
Has that actually happened in the recent past?
Do you give your kids your all, and yourself nothing? Or only the minimum to keep chugging away?
What about your partner, friends, or family? Are you there for them at every turn, but deny yourself anything more than the basics?
Heck, if you’re like most of us, you probably treat your co-workers with more patience and care than you do yourself.
Any of those sound familiar to you?
I’m kinda guessing so. Largely because they have somehow become the “norm” these days.
And… I know because I used to do the same.
It was like... if I could make do with next to nothing, that made me a “better” person/mom/wife/friend...
If you’ve been following me for a while, it’s likely that you’ve heard my story before, but for those of you who haven’t, here’s a quick refresher:
I was a married mother of 5, board certified divorce lawyer with my own practice. Clearly I had enough people wanting, needing and demanding things of me to occupy every minute of every day which made it “reasonable and necessary” for me to sacrifice my own needs, wants and desires as I tried to meet theirs.
Argh. It wasn’t pretty. Heck, I wasn’t pretty! In fact, I was an unattractive shell of myself. Inside and out. After all, what makes people attractive, radiant, magnetic is joy.
And while giving to others can be a truly joyful experience, it’s not when it’s done from a place of trying to be “good enough”. Because when we do that, we are actually giving to others with an unstated request that in return, they “make us feel worthy”.
That is the unseen “string” attached to all we do- and it’s a huge one.
Sadly, no matter how much others appreciate and applaud our efforts and sacrifice, they actually can’t make us feel worthy. So the cycle of giving without recognizing the futility. No amount of self-sacrifice will give us the result we want- and it’s miserable for others to witness, frankly.
I’m a smart woman, yet, I never learned that learning to love myself and then treating myself with love would actually be the VERY BEST THING I COULD DO FOR NOT ONLY MYSELF, BUT MY FAMILY!
Suddenly, I wasn’t desperate for them to validate me- I WAS VALIDATING MYSELF!
Lol. Crazy that it took me till my mid 40’s to learn this- but it’s true.
So when I tell you the key to happiness is to fall in love with yourself- it’s not just theory, I know it’s the absolute truth.
Which is why, I think Fall is the perfect time for each of us to focus on falling (more) in love with ourselves. The winter holidays will be better for all if our hearts are full.
To that end, watch this space next week about this time, cause I'll be sharing some of my fave tips for loving yourself... in every meaning of the word.
Learn how to better love your partner, WHILE loving yourself, at Sexy Ed School!