Let's Get Sexty! Yes, Sexting Can Be Scary, but I'm Here to Help!

Jul 21, 2021

Okay, we’ve thought about it, we’ve felt it, and we even dabbled in sharing a little bit last week, but this week-- you’re gonna SEXT about it. 

Don’t worry though, we’re gonna start easy… simply expanding on the simple text message y’all sent last week. I loved hearing how empowering that felt for some of you, and especially that you realized: 

Once you get started, talking/sexting about sex gets easier and easier… and SO MUCH FUN. 

As you’ve heard me say over and over, lol, giving ourselves permission to think about, talk, and act on the things that make our body tingle can open up a much wider world of love and romance, for both your partner(s) and yourself. 

But of course, the most important first step is: Love YOURSELF!!  Always. No matter what. 

Remember the spiel that flight attendants go through at the beginning of each flight? When they get to the part about the oxygen masks, with all their practiced jokes to put you at ease, what’s the ONE thing every single one of them says?

“Take care of yourself first, THEN take care of others in your party.”

Let’s use that same advice today, huh?

Ok, so you’ve spent the last few weeks languishing in and celebrating your love for all things sexy. You invested the time into thinking about what makes you feel all hot bothered.

Last week, we practiced channeling our inner Cora Pearl (who embraced her sexy) and you embodied your own sexiness.

This week I want you to not only BE SEXY, but push yourself a bit further. 

 You are going to actually SEXT (via text or email as you prefer) with this exercise:

  1. Create a list of words/actions that you think are SEXY. (A few of my faves by way of example:  kiss, licked, sucked, teased, juicy, wet, decadent, tantalizing, sensually, tasty, lusty, ample, luscious, lip-smacking, curvaceous…) 
  2. Create a list of body parts that you find sexy. (Again, my faves include lips, thighs, pussy, cock, ass, fingers, ears, neck and throat.)
  3. Use the above words to describe a sexy scene. Include as little or much detail as you like and feel free to describe something you’ve actually experienced or not.  (Example:  “I can’t stop thinking about the last time you teased me with kisses all the way down my body so delicately that I was squirming by the time you got between my legs. Do you remember how quickly I came?”)
  4. Be sure to ask a question at the end of the text to encourage a sexy response. Then try to keep the sexy teasing going for at least 10 minutes or more. (Maybe even until you connect in person!)  

I use this simple idea and template all the time because IT WORKS!  And it’s easy.  I don’t use words that I’m not comfortable with (The words dick, anus, vagina, penis make me cringe, so I don’t use them.  Your words don’t matter, just be YOU!)

If I don’t want to use any traditionally naughty language, like pussy or cock, I can easily send a message like this: “I went to sleep last night thinking of your arms wrapped around me, my back curved into your chest.  I could almost feel your whiskers brushing against my naked shoulder. It was heavenly.” 

The point is to paint a picture that evokes a passionate response.  The words you use, and the picture you paint, simply have to be in alignment with who you are. Because after all, whoever you are texting is into YOU so hearing what turns YOU on is going to excite them.  

As you’re fighting your nerves and getting all shy, I want to remind you that I was once where you are- I was totally uptight, shy and insecure.  It was awful and no fun.  

I want more for you and I know you want more too or you wouldn’t be reading this.  

So, don’t pretend to be cool, but do try this exercise (and if you haven’t done the last few weeks, feel free to start from the beginning with this blog and work your way forward to this exercise.) 

I promise, it’s worth it.  Using words is sexy AF. And yes, I speak from experience! I’ve had my fair share of lovers since my divorce and melting screens is one of my greatest skills. 😉 

Now it’s y’alls turn! Go forth, be your SEXTy self! 



(Of course, if Sexting gets you so excited for NEXT LEVEL intimacy, and you are ready to explore more creative ways to infuse your relationship with deeper connection, appreciation, passionate pleasure… and ORGASMS, lol,  check out my His + Hers Twofer  - a class so hot you’ll both have trouble keeping your minds on anything other than sexy. 😉 )